When it comes to making love, women generally like the fantasy aspect of the erotic buildup more than the simple thrill of undressing with someone they know and love (or maybe not know and/or love), such as most of us guys. So how do you make a girl erotic in a way we really want her to be? Well, in order to seduce a woman into giving in to your deepest and most secret desires, you have to gradually include her into your worldview by making yourself a unique “high-value lover” over and over on a consistent basis. Wait until you see her complete and total enchantment. At that moment, whether you like it or not, she’s yours.

You weave this seductive magic by customising every experience in bed for her based on careful research on your part. Great sex for most women can be defined as erotic in a way that she doesn’t see as inappropriately perverted with a man who has learned to deliver the goods time and time again in a way she likes. impressive task? Not necessary. Here’s a three-step plan to help you navigate this special road to every woman’s erotic heart:

1) Look for her erotic flaws.

The first step is to find out what kind of cheap sex tricks will send a particular girl into orbit. How?… Experiment! Maybe she likes to talk dirty or be verbally persuaded. Maybe she wants you to control her somehow. Or maybe she wants to control you? Try all sorts of things with her… spanking, tickling, toys, taking some nasty pics, doing it in the bushes, trying some things in the shower, switching positions, etc. Use here your porn powers that you spent years (probably all alone) “cultivating”. Some of this chaos may scare her off, but there’s usually SOMETHING that makes a woman red in the metre—and it’s your job to find out what that is and then learn how to play it like a violin!

If she refuses to go much further than the missionary style of vanilla, then you may have come across a girl with a low sex drive or other pressing matters that she thinks should be more important. Instead of being angry about it, count your blessings. It is fortunate to discover such crucial knowledge of incompatibility about a partner as soon as possible, as it will prevent a lot of future misery. Sending someone so sexually disinterested in your more open-minded, erotic-experimental direction can be an impossible task. I’ve always felt that the best sex is between two childlike adults, and by that, I mean people who don’t take themselves too seriously. At least not to the point where they feel that sex has become “children’s stuff” and somehow below their dignity. People who’ve taken on too much responsibility in life are likely to end up like this in middle age. Just a warning.

Either way, regular work between the sheets will eventually reveal where all her floodwaters are, as well as her limits. Keep notes of what you do to make a girl erotic and her reactions to your experimental poking–as crazy as this may sound. After filling a few pages with such notes, go back and look for clues. Look for those things she seems to enjoy the most and think of some clever ways to focus on them.

Now you’re ready to lock her heart up tight and lock yourself in the driver’s seat!

2) Become her “drug” based on that weakness.

Once you think you have some idea of what a woman’s erotic weaknesses might be (in the sense that she has an intense desire or a “weakness” for certain kinds of positions, fetishes, fantasies, etc.), then I get ready to zoom in on them, expand on whatever they may be, and make them more fleshed out. The idea is to get really good at delivering the best CUSTOM sexual experience she’s ever had… and to do it over and over.

If she’s wondering what’s going on with your sudden enthusiasm, tell her she makes you feel uninhibited like no woman has ever had. This drives a lot of girls crazy because most women think that all guys are natural sex buffs to some degree and don’t realise that it often takes someone SPECIAL to bring out this quality in them.

And for you, that person is her!

Such an effort to connect your soul to hers through raw physical pleasure has a powerful impact that cannot be easily ignored. The adrenaline rush that comes with such feelings will serve to weld these unique moments deep into her subconscious. And they will all be connected to you… you will always be “that guy” who did “that thing” the night you were together in “that place”. Now you start to see the romantic spell in action!

3) Make her dependent on you.

See, most people do pretty well when it comes to sex—they know a few basic moves and make up the rest along the way. The fact that you have 1) studied your “prey” and determined what really turns her on, and 2) made an effort to satisfy her in specific ways that align with these revelations, will definitely paint you as a completely different breed of cat.

And that is good!

Before long, you’ll be seen as a champion among all the men she knows-and really, you’ll have hardly done anything great. You’ll just do things with a little more purpose, direction, and creativity than the average Joe. That’s masculine seductive power in action.

While the job of enchanting a woman is mostly one of carefully nurturing her arousal and absorbing her fears based on what you’ve learned from your study of her sexual tendencies, one caveat though… don’t break this one. Never give an illusion by announcing what you are up to. Don’t say, “I’m going to make you addicted to me!” For that matter, NEVER reveal that you’re actually seducing a woman. Once people start to think they are being manipulated, they will resist en masse.

Like a stage magician, a trick is only cool as long as you never reveal how it works. If you show the audience how the string goes up your sleeve, they’ll think “oh, that trick was easy,” and then, all of a sudden, it’s all worthless.

As for technology, it’s simple… women just love it when men talk about it in bed!

What exactly do you have to say? What is your perspective? Work on the not-so-obvious: Tell her all the tempting things she’s been dying to hear but never expected. Tell an older woman she’s tight as a young girl. I love the voluptuous body of a fat girl. Tell a 25-year-old she has a swoon that belies her real age—one that makes her look more like a middle-aged seductress. Tell a skinny girl that her long arms make her look like a statue in an art museum, or that you absolutely love the way her shoulder blades form little angel wings. Skinny girls often think they’re not that sexy because they don’t have enough curves. Not for YOU, however… you adore it!

Do you see the pattern here?

Nobody wants to be themselves! Especially women, they all want to be younger, older, shaped differently, or whatever… anything but just old! This is why every time you make love to a girl you have to come up with a new twist—so it’s like unravelling her piece by piece, like a delicate flower, each layer more beautiful than the next! And you’re the very first man to ever see her this way… as this fantasy creature she never dreamed she would be. Only you can see through the ordinary and see the extraordinary in her!

Few women can resist this kind of lavish attention from their lover… it’s intoxicating! Here’s how to make your girl more erotic and fun in bed: by conscious action rather than relying on dumb luck to lead you to the theoretical “right person” who just happens to have sexual compatibility that matches yours.

Through your intentional actions, you must mould the person you are already with into the right person.

This is also the way to gain a power position for yourself in all your relationships–a way to quickly get women to “eat out of your hand”. This is not achieved with the vinegar of whining and begging, but with the honey of your love, which offers her a rare and unique sensuality that she will probably never find in the arms of another man.

It’s all done by becoming her sweetest addiction!

Mike Pilinski is the author of 2 classic books on the men’s dating market: his critically acclaimed original, “Without Embarrassment,” and its sequel, “She’s Yours For The Taking.” Each of these 250+ page books, recently upgraded and revised, is a masterful education for all men in the fine art of meeting, dating, and seducing women.